Prom

Yesterday on ENL DJ McHenry asked Claire Warren to prom. I think that was so sweet. I wish someone would do that for me. I know I'm more of a reserved person and you'd think for someone to do that would embarrass me, but no I think it would be really sweet for someone to do something like that for me. I'm not planning on going to prom. Money is too tight and I don't have a date. If I were to go to Junior Prom I would want a date. Next year is different though. Senior Prom is like a HUGE deal. Date or no date I'm going to go to prom next year. I don't see the point in getting all dolled up and not having a date around your arm to get all dolled up for. So, that's why I'm not going this year. I do have one person in mind I've been dying for him to ask me. I've had a crush on him since forever. I've been sending him some subtle hints, but I don't really know if he's getting the messge. Gosh, boys are so confusing.

Do Looks Really Matter?

You have to admit, than in some cases looks aren't everything but they matter to an extent. Sometimes I dread going to school or out somewhere just by the fact that my hair doesn't go the way I want it to or what not. Some people need to understand that looks aren't everything. I know I don't have supermodel looks but that's okay. I've got my personality to rely on. I'm not going to sit here and say that they don't matter, but there's more important things than that. It's what's on the inside that counts. I hate to be cheesey but it is true. I feel that a person's personality is a better way to judge some one than thier looks. Judging other people is bad. I should've reworded that differently but I'm pretty sure you know what I mean.

Personal Characterization - Of Mice and Men

As you walk through the door of a small room you will see shades of rich colors. In this room there is greens, blues, purples and pinks. There are things clustered everywhere. The girl that lives in this room is a pack rat. Stephanie doesn’t like to throw away anything. As she goes through her stuff she thinks to herself “I never know when I’ll need it.” There is a somewhat neat desk area in the corner. She uses this space to study, every now and then. On top of the dresser is a vase full of flowers. The flowers consist of the colors purple and pink. There are posters of famous people’s faces on the walls. On her dressers there’s a hodge-podge of candles. You can tell that Stephanie is a very sweet person. She’s very genuine and knows who she is. The shades of pink in this young woman’s room represents her kind heart. She’s got a very nice personality. The purple represents her strength. She has a will to stand up to what she feels is right. When it comes to her appearance it’s the same way. She hazel eyes. If you gaze long enough you can tell that she’s been hurt emotionally a lot. Behind those hazel eyes she’s afraid. She is afraid of getting her heartbroken again. Stephanie has deep demples. Whenever she smiles you see a good-hearted girl. Her kind smile tells the world that she’s a friendly person. She will do anything to make people happy. Stephanie has a good head on her shoulders.

Can boys and girls be JUST friends...

...without someone developing feelings for the other? In some cases it may be yes. There's some people who are really good friends and they have no strong feelings toward the other. In my situation the answer is no. So, I've got this friend of mine let's just call him *Bob. Now *Bob has gone through some pretty tough stuff in the past couple of months (his parents are going through a nasty divorce etc etc) and I've been there for him. I'm a friend that he can lean on. Well it seems like everytime we talk he starts to flirt with me, says something really sweet or asks me the question "can we ever be more than friends?" I always answer with a "not so sure" or "I'm not ready for anything serious yet." Those things aren't complete lies. I've had my heart broken one too many times and I don't want to go through that again. I do not see *Bob the way he sees me. I feel like I'm partially to blame here because when we started talking I was being flirtatious and cute. It's all because there was this jerk in my life previous b4 *Bob and I'm guessing I had some sort of void to fill. I don't know. I feel really gulity for using *Bob like I had in the beginning. And I feel that it's to blame for him liking me so much. I just don't know what to do. He's a nice guy but he's not really my type. I'm thinking about coming clean to him but I know that's probably going to devastate him. I feel like I have got to get this thing off of my chest. I just have no idea what to do.

Can't Sleep!!!

I seem to have this problem when it's really late on a school night. I just can't seem to fall asleep tonight for some odd reason. I don't know what it is. Usually on a school night when it's late before I go to bed my mind seems to go on overdrive. I seem to think about a ton of things like right before I go to bed. It is weird how I do most of my thinking out of an entire day when I'm laying in bed minutes before I fall asleep. I think if I could do all of my school assignments like really late at night I think I would make all A's. That goes to show how much time I spend late at night thinking. Nothing else. Just thinking. It drives me crazy! I need sleep. My over active mind needs to chill. I'm losing sleep so much all because my mind seems to be running on a treadmill. That's how much it over activates. I need MORE SLEEP, MUCH MORE SLEEP!!! But I can't seem to FALL ASLEEP!!! Why? Why does this happen to me?

The ACT

I know for a fact that I'm going to be taking the ACT again or 2 more times or something. I should've spent more time on ePrep. I feel like I could've done so much better. I was practically brain dead all that morning. The night before my stomach was killing me and I was tossing and turning all night. Which really stinks. The one night I needed a really good night's sleep...my stomach was aching. Plus I wish I would've paced myself much better. All in all I feel like I could've done much better. I didn't try my best that is for sure. Hopefully I make at least a 21, then I won't worry about taking it again. If I make anything below a 21 then my butt better get in gear. I better study 'til my eyes bleed. I feel like I could've done better on the ACT. It seems like everytime there's this obstacle (situation type deal) no matter how hard I try to overcome it (achieve etc) I feel like I could've done better. I don't know why. I'm not much of an overachiever. I'm just an achiever. I guess me worring about my best not being my best is the overachiever inside of me just trying to get out. (:

Mess of Contradictions

I feel like sometimes I am a mess of contradictions. Well, when it comes to my emotions. There's somedays where I feel broken inside but I try to wear a smile on my face so nobody can know what is truely haunting me. People feel one way but they show a different side of thier emotions. This poem really got me to thinking. I like this poem. Over the weekend, I was really really tired and I guess I was contridicting that because I showed an energetic side. I was really hyper for some reason even though I was tired. Wierd, right? I know. I guess it was because I was so excited it was the weekend. But anyway, there's some instances where I want so badly to say something, but it wouldn't be necessary.

Dead Poet's Society

I really liked this movie. This time watching it was my second time. Freshman year I watched it for the first time. I remember I fell asleep because I was so tired. I kindof regret falling asleep that time because this is such a good movie. I perfer watching movies like this one to doing boring class work. This movie has a little bit of everything in it. I find it awful that Neil commited suicide. That was really sad. All because of his dad was trying to control his life and his future. I guess Neil just felt trapped. But I feel that suicide is not an answer to anything. I love Robin Williams. I love the movies that he's in. The very end is a good scene. "Oh captain my captain." I'm going to start saying that. I find it wierd that this movie has a lot of similiarites to Harry Potter. Of coarse, I would say that because I'm a Harry Potter geek. (:

The Bachelor

This past season of The Bachelor was the first time I actually watched it. I guess it had to do with Jake. I had a bit of a crush on him from the beginning. He's just too cute. He's handsome and a pilot. The season finale Monday made me extremely mad. How can he pick a woman like Vienna over a woman like Tenley? Tenley was perfect for him though. She would've made the better wife and mother. I just can not stand Vienna. Whenever Jake chose her I lost all respect for him. I used to LOVE him!!! I had the hugest crush on him and then he pulls the wool over my eyes. I loved Tenley. She is such a sweetheart and she is pretty. A nice girl like herself deserves a chance of love. It seems like nice girls like myself and Tenley always finish last. Anyways, Jake is going to regret his decision. I just know he is. He is too good for Vienna. If only he could see her for who she truley is. I guess he's just blinded by love. It is disgusting. He told Tenley why he didn't choose her was because they didn't have much of a "spark." And he tried to force it with her. Well, there's more to falling in love than just a "spark" I mean really. Jake and Tenley had more of an emotional connection. And they make the perfect couple. NOT Jake and Vienna. Seeing them together makes me want to barf. I bet a couple of weeks in their marriage Vienna's true colors are going to show. Then Jake's going to realize he made a HUGE mistake choosing her. To top off all of my frustration Jake is going to be on Dancing with the Stars. Come on, really? Yeah, I have to admit part of me is happy. I think he is one handsome devil. The other part of me is just too mad and thinks he's dumb. Any other guy would've chosen Tenley over Vienna. I feel so bad for Tenley though. She must've been heartbroken. I know I would've been.

The Buried Life - My Bucket List

Last night I was watching the Buried Life on MTV and I got inspired. Here is my list of things I would love to do before I die:
1.) vistit the world
2.) road trip through the United States from coast to coast
3.) smile and say "hi" at random people
4.) sing the Star Spangled Banner at a Super Bowl
5.) star in a block buster film
6.) kiss the boy of my dreams
7.) get a tour of the White House
8.) meet president Barack Obama
9.) guest star on an episode of Glee
10.) be an American Idol contestant
11.) rescue an animal in danger
12.) volunteer for as many organizations as I possibly can
13.) write a New York Bestseller book
14.) win the lottery
15.) bungee jump of a bridge
16.) have dinner with George Clooney
17.) take a long drive in a foreign sports car
18.) eat Italian food...in Italy
19.) see a Broadway musical
20.) see John Mayer perform live
21.) be an astronaut for a day